Wabbit Season? Duck Season?

I went shopping today for groceries. As I left the store I noticed something. there was a car trying to park in the parking lot. A pair of bicycle drivers came up behind the car. They swerved around the car, surrounding it, through the spot where the driver was trying to park, then rode away quickly. They were yelling, "Driver! Driver! Driver!" as if it meant "F****t! F****t! F****t!" (The car driver waited until they had gone, then parked. I kept walking; I no longer have a car and rely on public transit.)

So, groundhogs notwithstanding, it seems that it's already bicycle season again. This is the season when bicycle driver take to the streets and the sidewalks, behaving:
- as if they're pedestrians for the purpose of motor vehicle laws;
- as if they're motor vehicle operators for the purpose of pedestrian laws; and
- as if what few laws relate specifically to bicycles are suggestions that may be observed, re-interpretted or disregarded as is convenient to them; as if
- they are unquestionable heroes of freedom and environmentalism;
- motor vehicle drivers are acting irresponsibly by being on the road;
- pedestrians are something like slalom gates...
...as if, in fact, they are not responsible for the control of a vehicle, which is probably why they calling what they do "riding" instead of "driving."

So it is time now for everyone to observe certain elementary precautions in order to stay safe on the roads and sidewalks.
Pedestrians should:
- stay to the edge of the sidewalk in case a bicycle approaches;
- where there is no sidewalk, stay in the gutter;
- watch in front of themselves for oncoming bicycles and be prepared to duck;
- look behind themselves periodically in case a bicycle approaches from behind;
- look all ways at corners and remember to check sidewalks, lawns, open spaces and the wrong way down streets;
- be aware of places of refuge to duck into in case of bicycles;
- try to walk during dark hours and school hours when bicycles are less likely to be about.
Remember that, unlike a motor vehicle, bicycles can approach from any direction.
Motorists should:
- be aware of bicycles that they pass, especially when approaching a corner, which could pass them on either side if they catch up;
- check for bicycles on both sides before turning either left or right;
- remember that bicycle drivers move quickly and rarely stop at boulevard stops, they can be in your path with no notice;
- do not play a radio or other music in the car as it might drown out the faint horns, bells and whistles that bicycle drivers occasionally use to warn of their approach;
- do not pass a bicycle in a single lane roadway as you could not possibly leave enough room to avoid a bicycle's random movement without encroaching into the next lane;
- after parking, if you are not causing yourself pain in your neck and back by turning to see whether a bicycle is approaching, you are not doing it properly -- this applies to parallel, slantwise and inline parking spots, as well as to passengers.
Remember, as police interpret any motor vehicle/bicycle collision, even if you have witnesses and photographs which can prove that the bicycle driver was behaving like a complete jackass, you are still at fault!

Stay safe everybody and good luck until the next good snow storm puts bicycles off the road for a while.